Getting Rid of a Roommate

The spider that’s been making its home in my apartment for several weeks was crawling along the floor the other night. I tried to avoid killing it in the past, and made quite an effort to preserve its life when it scurried from behind the TV to the corners of the floor near my reclining chair. I placed a small wooden beam on the floor to block its path and hopefully encourage it to backtrack into whatever corner it had been hiding in. It stopped, but wouldn’t move back in the direction from which it came. I rolled up a sheet of paper and sort of brushed it against the spider, hoping the creature would crawl into the funnel I had fashioned so I could deposit the critter outside through the window. It refused to cooperate and soon made its way under my chair.

Shit!

I had visions of it growing into a large, hairy creature that would one day crawl on my shoulder while I slept, then scare me to death when its legs tickled my flesh.

I moved the chair and the spider crawled out, but now it threatened to hide in the books and papers lying on the floor. Now I was using a broom to bring him out, but he must have found a hiding place secure enough to avoid facing my fury which was beginning to overrule my patience. I turned on the light in the hallway leading to the bedroom to see better, and when I stepped into the bathroom for a second I got a brief fright upon seeing one of those damn centipedes clinging to the wall. Whatever compassion I feel toward spiders does not apply to those other creepy insects and I smacked it with a newspaper. After throwing the centipede's remains in the toilet, I saw the spider attempting to crawl to safety on the other side of the room.

I’d had enough.

“You’re pissing me off!” I said, and I stomped it to death with my foot.

I wiped the spider’s gooey remains from the floor with a piece of tissue and flushed it down the toilet. And that ends my adventure with the spider that I first glimpsed a week ago clinging to the wall beside my bed. It makes me feel a little sad. I didn’t want to kill it, but I didn’t want it crawling on me either which it might have done had I let it wander freely about. I gave it a chance, but it wouldn’t cooperate in my attempt to let it live. Besides, I pay the rent on this place. The spider doesn’t.

© 2013 Brian W. Fairbanks

VISIT MY KINDLE STORE AT AMAZON